It’s Not Anger, It’s Actually…

Fun Fact: Anger is a secondary emotion.

Anger is the emotion that masks another feeling (that’s usually unpleasant or vulnerable). It can be hard to recognize or understand, but there is usually a reason why you felt angry. So you aren’t just an “angry” Black person. Instead, you might actually be a sad, anxious, disrespected, disappointed, or embarrassed Black person. The list goes on!

In fact, anger is like an iceberg. At the surface it may seem like it gives you the full understanding. But there’s layers of other emotions underneath that truly paint the picture. While addressing anger may fix the initial issue, it does not address the root cause. You must address the underlying emotions… but that requires you to have insight and awareness of your emotions!

Here is a quick way to dig a little bit deeper as to why you may be angry...

“I am angry because I feel ____.” The picture below depicts some emotions that may be underneath you anger. Try to fill in the blank with a better fitting emotion.

Unlearning Anger

Anger is an emotion just like all others. Everyone experiences it at some point. Feeling angry is not an issue, but BEHAVING poorly because of a feeling is unhealthy.

It’s important to know that anger is LEARNED. Reacting angrily may have helped get your needs met. So, just like you may have learned to use your anger and aggression in a manner that may not be conducive, you can unlearn those ways and learn a healthier way to express your anger. Therefore, it's crucial to learn triggers to your anger and underlying emotions to make more adaptive behavior choices. Here are some cues to try to pick up on to determine if you are feeling angry. Once you notice a few of these, dig deeper and found out the emotion below the surface!

Cues to Anger

Physical: rapid heartbeat, chest tightness, feeling hot, face becomes red

Emotional: feeling hurt, jealous, or guilty

Behavioral: pacing, clenching your fists, raising your voice

Cognitive: hostile self-talk, images of aggression in your head, assuming your belief is fact